- Written by Dr. Joni and Esther
An ideal alternative to intercourse is to have a night where you and you lover are able to watch as you manually please yourselves. Sometimes, you just want it the way you want it! Get out some lube and candles and apply some to each other, then prop yourselves up on pillows so that you won’t miss the show!
Lie close to each other and kiss each other often, especially the neck, breast and belly areas so that you have body to body contact and you can REALLY see. Each person has spots on their genitals that are more sensitive than others, so watch where she starts touching herself as one side of the clitoris or the clitoral shaft may have more pleasure zones than the other.
You may like your balls touched, or pulled or your perineum stroked and she needs to see that too. Watching your partner as they use their own hands is a great teaching tool as you both get turned on by the visual display. Hot pillow talk to encourage each other is magical!
You might even want to place you hand softly over hers as she touches herself to get the pressure right. Offer to “lend a hand” if she requests it! Internal stimulation at the same time may help her over the edge to bliss! Hold each other tightly as you come to bind you together in intimacy!
Play with Toys and Sexual Enhancements!
This blends in beautifully with the previous tip, as many women have difficulty climaxing without the use of a toy, or have even stronger orgasms. Toys today are for everyone…men, women and for use together. If she gets to control the speed and pressure, she’ll consider them a natural part of lovemaking. If you use a cock ring with a vibrating bullet, have her on top of you…she can move around until the bullet hits her clitoris where she enjoys it and as she squeezes down on you, your penis will hold your erection better.
She can be facing towards you, or away to vary the spots in the vagina that are stimulated, like the G-Spot for more intense stimulation. You get to watch her bouncing on you while she does more of the work…enjoy the show and tell her how sexy she is on top!
Sexual stimulants like Clitoral stimulating gels, G-Spot stimulating gels and penis enhancing creams all add a little fun and variety you can’t have naturally, but might enjoy!
For the truly adventurous, there are toys for men to stimulate the P spot which is in the anus near the prostate gland. Many Straight men have acknowledged that they were hesitant to try it at first, but then quickly learned how that little spot is hot for attention!
Combining toys with oral and manual play is fabulous foreplay or just a night of trying something new and different! Keeping creative keeps your sex life hot and never boring! Make sure that you have good quality lubes and toy cleaners to keep you toys safe and healthy.