Choosing Beyond Your Urges So You Can Have It All Part 1: New Relationships with Old Baggage

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- Written by Satyen Raja

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Because of the way you are, the way you are cut, you want a partner, a Lover, a mate. This applies to most people. Something within you yearns for a partner to enjoy Life with, to have fun with, to have passionate sexual intimacy with. 

The Mystery of Life is more exquisite when shared, for most. Going on trips, raising kids, finding work, getting through tough times, secrets, holidays, dinnertime, celebrations…all of that and more is richer when shared. There is a Joy in that. The Joy includes learning, growing and evolving.
Although it is rare, for some, a more desired and natural Path is the one of solitary yoga. If it is for you, the key to solitary yoga is to embrace the Masculine and the Feminine energies that comprise you and integrating them all within you, by yourself. You are drawn and you decide to combine all of your energies together internally, without an external partner. 
Solitary yoga is not chosen out of reactivity to hurt from a past relationship, but it is a natural driving aspiration. Most of the time when people say that they prefer a solitary Path it is not authentic. Those people are almost always really choosing to be alone as a reaction to pain, suffering, hurt, trauma and baggage.
It is understandable. We all have baggage. You have baggage.
What is very important to understand is that you cannot attract an amazing partner, the mate who inspires your depth, if you are walking around with old baggage. Your baggage stands between you and your quality Lover, the one you really deserve.
What is dangerous is who you will attract through the filter of the pain and attachments of your past. That is genuinely scary. You could spend your whole Life in relationships that are based upon your unresolved past instead of Who You Are at your deepest core.
When you Live from your core, your essence, then your traits, patterns and behaviors do not just disappear. What happens is that your choices, including who is to be your Lover, are made differently. 
Your personal behaviors, whether demented or delightful, are expressed more often as the art of two rather than wielded as energy depleting habits. You choose for the deepest reasons instead of as a blind reaction.
For example, let us say, Ladies, that you are a nag. You do not mean to be, but you are. In fact, you are a nag machine waiting to pour out nags on your next victim. This is wrong with your dinner, that is bothering you about her, that other thing is really upsetting… na na na.
Your nagging is not sexy, except to him.  He loves you so much that there is even something charming about your old nagging. He may not always like it, but he Loves it. He Loves you. Your quirks are alluring to him. He wishes you would shove your tongue down his throat right in the middle of your nagging.
Of course it goes the other way too. Guys have baggage as well. 
What do you want? Do you want a relationship that is chosen through the haze of your damage? Or, do you want a relationship that is based upon taking each other to the Divine? This should be a no brainer, yet until you Consciously face this choice, you will pick the first scenario again and again.

About the Author

Satyen Raja

A remarkable living synthesis of Eastern wisdom and of Western practicality, Satyen Raja combines the power of the Warrior and the wisdom of the Sage to inspire audiences worldwide. Satyen is a unique blend of power and of heart. He is a Kung-Fu Master, the author of Living Ecstasy and a trainer of the renowned Illumination Intensive. He has taught thousands of students around the world the art of 'true power'. Satyen's dramatic style is not for the timid. Through his teachings, your weaknesses become strengths... Quickly!